What is your commitment level?

As I walk with the Lord of Lords and King of Kings, I have to ask myself what is my commitment level? What am I willing to do for and with him? Speak to a total stranger on the street when I know they are hurting and need an encouraging word? What about those who are known to me that I could speak life into but choose to walk on by because I am to busy or lazy to notice? I look at my life and wonder what it would be if I chose to walk in obedience no matter the cost to me and my comfort level. I am by nature a selfish person, I like my alone time, I like to decide when and if I will allow others into my time schedule. This is just the facts. I know that I have missed divine appointments because I have been to selfish to see them. I have missed blessing and healing and encouragement for my own life because of this as well. I don’t want to continue down this path. I want my life to make a difference in the lives of those around me, the ones I know and the ones I will know at a later time. There is so much that God can do in me and through me if I am willing to let Him do it. The cost of living this way is no more selfishness, no more thinking of my own comfort over that of others. Big order for one who is so very into comfort!  I am on day 76 of prayer. I didn’t stop at day 40 and this has been an amazing journey. He is changing me, He is doing a work that I know is going to have an impact on my world. But there is such a long way to go…as I am pretty messed up! I am learning that there is great value in a hug, a prayer, a word of hope in someone’s dark place of hurt. That when I speak to someone what I hear the Lord saying they are given a gift of His peace in their situation or hurt. I have seen the Lord answer prayer for healing, jobs, relationships, etc…Love seeing God work in the lives of those I am circling in prayer! Some haven’t yet been healed or gotten the job, or are still battling in relationships, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be answered! I want to walk in faithfulness that is life changing for not only me but those around me that need Jesus! So as I have asked myself the question of what my commitment level is, I am asking you the same. What is your commitment level? What are you willing to allow God to do with and through you?

I have the Best Boss Ever

leaderI have such a great Leader, I don’t even hardly know how to act! I find that she is compassionate, funny, reliable, does her job well and makes everyone around her feel like secure in their own job as well. I don’t know that I have ever had such a great Leader before. I am so thankful and probably more grateful after enduring Sheila and then Jeane. There is a Huge difference in working for someone who is secure in their job and someone who is insecure! And then there is the side of her that is so very good to David. Yesterday I had to have David brought to the office because Michael had piano lessons. Allie came up and started a game of cards with David! He loved that. So did I. I am blessed with so much at my present job and I am so very grateful to God for opening this opportunity to me. I came into this job hurt and disillusioned but now I am doing what I do well and have a great group of people to work with.allie 1 There are blessing all around us, we just have to be willing to look for them and sometimes a change is required of us.  I hated leaving my old job, I really loved working for the Dr but I must say that this move was a very good move for me and has been full of blessing and joy all along the way. God is wonderful, even when things are hard He always comes through. I can trust Him with every detail of my life knowing He has everything under control even when it feels like He isn’t paying attention! allie 2 allie 3

Prov 14:1 Every WISE woman BUILDS her house

but the FOOLISH one TEARS it down with her own hands. These are very true words! It translate into more than your home as well. If you are the manager of your husbands business you can build it up or you can tear it down, wisdom or foolishness. I have watched a woman, who thinks she is smart and knows way more than anyone else about everything there is to know (“in my opinion” in case she is reading this, she will understand that comment). She has single handedly been responsible for 10 employees walking out the door since 2012. This office has lost hard working, loyal workers that just could not take the meanness of this woman. And yet she, and her husband since he will do nothing to bring her under control, that she is going to be the downfall of this practice. She see’s herself as the all knowing one, the only one who can do anything, and she also believes that her husband will cheat on her with any pretty woman that he works with. Is that not the saddest thing? How good can the marriage be if she is suspicious of him all the time? She thought that one of his med techs had her eye on him because she sent him text messages saying such seductive things as “the sidewalk outside the office is very slick this morning, be careful” Or “thank you for letting me off early today so I could go to my sons game the score is…” I know if some woman who worked for my husband sent him messages like that I would automatically think he was having an affair! NOT! This was such an affront to this woman that she has now found another job and gave her 2 wks notice to the good Dr. I am so proud of her for taking the stand. Her character was maligned and Dr’s wife thinks that is ok. Apparently so does Dr because he does nothing to correct this unacceptable behavior. And so once again he loses a hard working, loyal employee. Since I walked out the door in Sept this will be the 3rd personmaxine to leave his employment in 5 months time. All 3 of them gave notice within weeks of each other, and yet he tells them that it is all in their head and that things are just fine in the office. The morale is good, the team is happy…he really believes that, or at least that is what he says. So I ask you, are you a person that builds up or are you a person that tears down? What kind of fragrance do you leave when you walk into or out of a room? Do people sigh and say oh no she is here or oh Thank you Lord she is gone when You leave? When people hear your name in public or in your home do they think of a Godly loving person or do they think of a mean spirited haughty person who thinks more highly of themselves then they should? Are you a Christian all the time or just at church? What legacy are you leaving? What memory will people have of you? Were you WISE or were you FOOLISH? Do you have religion or do you have a Relationship with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Your life will tell the story much louder than your words.
Don’t get me wrong, we are all a work in progress and we all make mistakes and have much to learn and have a lot of room to grow, but the question I am asking is still valid…for if you think you already know it all then you have no room for growth, therefore you become stale and of no use in the kingdom of God. And what is worse, you are a stench and cause those who know you as a Christian to question the love of the God you claim to follow…I know that I am very black and white in my opinions. I make no apologies for this, I love God and serve Him with all, heart, mind and soul. I have no problem calling sin, sin and wrong, wrong. I am not PC nor will I ever be. Anything that keeps the truth from being spoken is in no way “correct”. God’s word is an offense to many, but especially to those who say they are living for God and yet are not following His ways. WISE or FOOLISH? BUILDING or TEARING down? What is the fragrance you leave? Food for thought…until next time….

Getting My Prayer On….

warfareThis has not been easy for me. I find it difficult to have a definite time to set aside for prayer. I have heard that the best time is to pray first thing in the morning before the cares of the day take over…but for me it has proven to be the most difficult time of the day. And why wouldn’t it be? If you know me you know I am not a morning person. I don’t talk in the morning, I get ready for work, listen to my bible as I get ready and prepare David’s breakfast and lunch. I don’t even talk much when I first get to work.  And yet because people have written books and spoke at seminars about first thing in the morning being the best time to pray I tried that…yea didn’t work out so well. So this first week of prayer I have found that the best time for me to pray is right before I go to bed. I have all the things from the day to discuss with the Lord, I know better how to pray about the things that I am “circling” in prayer and have been able to be very specific about them. I have gone to bed with peace and not concerned or stressed over what has happened during the day. So I have decided that the best time of day to pray is the time that works best for you, the time that you are the most alert and engaged in the conversation. For many people that is first thing in the morning, but not for me. I have a hard time staying focused on prayer in the morning, I don’t put everything into the conversation as I do when I pray before I go to bed. That is what I have discovered about this.
maxine42I have also been doing a clean eating protocol this is the first week of my 28 day journey…I have done okay, not as good as I would have liked. I have gone off of coffee, and sugar, and all unhealthy foods. It is hard for me this week because I don’t really like the vanilla shake mix much and the chocolate is on back order. I got an email telling me that the chocolate is on its way. Hopefully it will be here early next week! I have lost weight…not a lot of weight, but some and that is better than gaining! I was 4lbs over my stop weight when I went off of Hcg in September. I have maintained my weight loss for 4 months now and I am not wanting to go backwards. I want to start losing again. I know I need to be exercising again. But baby steps for me 🙂
So there is an update. Love to you who stop by to be a part of my life! See ya next blog!
Isaiah 43:19

When people are mean and unkind to your children…

Kelly and Michaelmy children are all adults now and quite capable of taking care of themselves, but you know what that doesn’t change how it feels when someone is unkind to them. I understand why this woman has been so unkind. She is jealous of what they have and she is incredibly insecure in her own life. But my kids are 19 and 20 this woman is in her 50’s! She has two teenage daughters, if they were treated or spoken to in the manner she has felt compelled to treat my children she would be all up in the face of whoever dared to treat them that way. I have not been in her face about how she has treated my children, nor has Charlie. My children are adults and have handled the situations with far more maturity and character than this woman has shown the entire time she has been here. She just moved here and seems to be quite unhappy with her life, her situation, and everything that is happening around her. I have had to come to the conclusion that I can allow her to infect my life with her misery or I can refuse to allow her access to my heart and mind. We all make decisions in life, we all have things that we have to face and deal with that are not fun or comfortable. But we also all have the choice to let those things make us better rather than bitter. We can teach our children to overcome life’s challenges or we can teach them to blame others and never learn anything from the hard lessons. I am very proud of how well my children, Michael and Kelly,  have handled themselves with the way this woman has thrown hurtful words and actions at them like they are targets for her arrows and fiery darts. They both recognized her sorry and pitiful life, they both realized that they were not the problem, but that the problem was hers. Although what she said was hurtful they have both been able to forgive and move on. They both chose to let it go and not allow her to have that kind of power over them. Does this mean that she is going to go without being challenged? No I believe that she will be held accountable for hermaxine actions. I don’t know who will hold her accountable…probably not me, that is unless she says something stupid to me, then it will probably be me 🙂 It just really confounds me that there are people out there who say they are Christians yet they are so bitter and unforgiving, full of hate and malice towards innocent people that have nothing to do with the place they are in their life. Such a pitiful and sad life to live. To have the grace and mercy of God available and to even profess that you are under it, yet you live in such darkness and deception. I have no room for anger towards this woman, only pity and sadness that her life is what she has made it. She touched my children and she hurt them, but because of the training that my children have had they rose above the hurt to see the real problem and chose to handle themselves with maturity and character. So Very Proud Of Them!!!

Job hunt

I do not like looking for a job! I do not like applying at place after place and not hearing anything from anyone! It is frustrating that I am not even given a chance to talk with anyone. But on the other hand I have placed this whole job thing in God’s hands and I am trusting Him to open up the door when it is time for me to return to work. So in the meantime I will enjoy my time off and keep applying for jobs as they come to my attention. God will open the right door at the right time. And He will also provide the funds to meet our bills and help Stephanie with her wedding.
I am enjoying being able to go to lunch with my family or friends at the drop of a hat, I am enjoying being home in the morning and getting David off in the morning without having to hurry, I am enjoying taking a nap in the afternoon if I feel like it.
Today I went to my old office, as I got a text telling me that the Dr and his wife were away and it was safe to come in and see my old co-workers. It was so good to see them. It has only been a month but it feels like longer than that. They are doing just fine. They miss me like I miss them but they are getting things done without me. The office is a sad place. I hate that, we always had such a good time there even when things were tense we were able to laugh and get through it. On a good note I can report that the office manager is making an effort to get to know the girls and build relationship with them. If she can keep that up she just may earn their respect. They are not sure this will continue, in fact they are just waiting for the old hateful office manager to show back up…it is her usual way, but God can change anyone, even her. For the sake of the office I do hope that this is a real change in her and that the old is gone.
Every trace of me has been removed from the office, but they can’t take away the influence I had on the staff or the patients. The relationships I built there will last, and my memory will live on in the hearts and minds of those who loved me there. As their memory lives on in my heart. I am supposed to go to dinner with some of them next week. I am looking forward to that, but I know that my contact with them will be minimal from now on. That is sad 😦

Smokey Joes CastFun note: We will be going to Grove tonight to practice for our Smokey Joes Café performance tomorrow night on Monkey Island. This is such a fun show and I am glad that we have another opportunity to get together with this amazing cast! I have so enjoyed working with them and getting to know new people as well as reconnecting with old friends! The talent in this cast is such a pleasure to be around, they are funny, they sing and play instruments with such beauty and they really enjoy working hard and making things perfect for the audience. This show has been the least stressful show I have been in with the MLT. Usually there is quite a bit of tension as we get closer to show-time, but this show came together so well and the only real problems we had were sound related and trying to get all the microphones to work at the right time!  This was a great distraction for me as I worked through quitting my job! Timing is everything and God has perfect timing!

Communication makes all the difference

in the home, at work, at church, in the community, dosn’t matter where you are or who you are dealing with communication is the key to peace! It is also very hard to accomplish! It seems that when you are dealing with people who think they know everything already communication is very difficult to have. I personally am working on listening more and not voicing my “opinion” before I have as much information as I can gather. Pulling my foot out of my mouth is tiresome work! But what really floors me is the sheer number of people who are “mature adults” who speak first and think second, causing havoc in their path as they breeze through not even noticing that they have left destruction in their wake!

Oh that we have grace to treat people the way we want to be treated ourselves and to see beyond the circumstances of the moment to see the big picture. Does this mean that no one is ever repremanded? Absolutely not! I am just saying that getting all the facts first will save you and the other person a great deal of heartache, sometimes reprimand is needed and justified, but sometimes it isn’t or is given to the wrong person.  Just on a soap box right now I guess!

For those of you who read this blog to keep up with my family, Michael is still in AR working during the week and home on the weekends. He has a girlfriend I have not met yet but she does sound like a sweetie. Kelly is working hard getting ready to go into the Navy in the fall, she goes to boot camp Aug 15, which is fast approaching! She graduates high school this May, my baby is graduating! How did that happen? Kevin is working on a wedding with Aprl and finishing up this semester of school. He isn’t sure what he is going to do about school next year. He plans to go to the community college to get all his prereqs out of the way and then make a decision after that for what direction he wants to go. Stephanie is working in Topeka right now for Jostens. She is looking at moving to Topeka this summer, but nothing is set yet. She is still looking for work in the Architecture field, but hasn’t had much luck, what she needs is God’s favor and blessing…luck isn’t the same!  Holly has been in KC for several years now and is working on her dance, she is dealing with tendonitis and a pulled muscle in her back right now, so she is having to take it easy. Which is VERY hard for her to do. This weekend her dance company is in Houston TX for Project Dance, she is quite excited about what God is doing in her life right now! David is doing well, he is loving having his dad and I all to himself, as he is usually the only kid home anymore!  God is working in the lives of my children and in mine and Charlies life as well, life is good with God! Hope this helped to catch all 3 of you up on whats going on around here!

I get tired of people talking about what they know nothing about…

I am taking the Hcg, yes, I have read about it, yes I know it works, yes I know why it works! But I am tired of people who have nothing to go on  but their own opinion telling me that the only reason I am losing is because of the 500 calorie diet I am on! You will lose weight and rather quickly if you are on a 500 cal diet…you will also put all the weight right back on as soon as you begin to eat normally and then some! I have been doing this protocol for over a year (does that sound like a quick weight loss to you) I am following the protocol exactly, I don’t cheat and I am losing weight and KEEPING IT OFF. I could go into the details of why Hcg works and how it works, but I really just needed to blow off some steam for a moment. It isn’t for everyone, but just because it isn’t for you does not give you the right to tell me that I shouldn’t be doing it. If I was going to have problems from it I can assure you it would have happened already. So, can you tell I am a little touchy today? I don’t give my opinion about what you are doing, if I haven’t researched it myself, please give me the same courtesy. (there are some people that are exempt from this “keep your opinion to yourself” request, but they are precious few) Grrrrrrowl! I need a nap!

New Year and time for Hcg again…

this last month has not been kind to my body! I have made many poor food choices and the pounds just jump back on! I gained 15 pds over a period of 2 months! That is not ok, I still can wear my smaller clothes, but they were getting tight. I started on my Hcg Tuesday and have now lost 7.4 pds from my top gorge weight, 4.2 from my starting weight. I have my buddy to keep my accountable and we are both doing great our first week. I can tell ya that it is much easier to do this with someone along side. But I do have a twist to it this time, I have been reading the book “Made to Crave” that I heard about from my good friend Melissa B. It is very encouraging and helps to take the focus off of the food and on to God and my relationship with Him. The weight gain goes much deeper than just making poor food choices. It goes to the heart of being malnurished spiritually while my physical body is needing to lose weight. So I am embarking on this quest with far more of a purpose than just losing weight, I want to get my “Want to” in place to seek after God, filling those craving with His presence and not with food that is poisening my body and making me fat.  Feeding my Spirit and growing in a close relationship with Jesus. Thank you to Melissa B for her words of encouragement on facebook. If you are interested in this book I have put a link to it on my bookclub page on this blog, as well as this post.

Made to Crave is the missing link between a woman’s desire to be healthy and the spiritual empowerment necessary to make that happen. The reality is we were made to crave. Craving isn’t a bad thing. But we must realize God created us to crave more of him. Many of us have misplaced that craving by overindulging in physical pleasures instead of lasting spiritual satisfaction. If you are struggling with unhealthy eating habits, you can break the ‘I’ll start again Monday’ cycle, and start feeling good about yourself today. Learn to stop beating yourself up over the numbers on the scale. Discover that your weight loss struggle isn’t a curse but rather a blessing in the making, and replace justifications that lead to diet failure with empowering go-to scripts that lead to victory. You can reach your healthy weight goal — and grow closer to God in the process. This is not a how-to book. This is not the latest and greatest dieting plan. This book is the necessary companion for you to use alongside whatever healthy lifestyle plan you choose. This is a book and Bible study to help you find the ‘want to’ in making healthy lifestyle choices.”

I have not posted for some time now…

So much has been happening and there just hasn’t been time to sit down and blog.
Stephanie graduated from K-State with masters in architecture, Michael graduated from High School and they graduated on the same day! That was an interesting feat to make it to both graduations, but we did it and are so proud of both of them! I would post pics but I don’t have them downloaded from the camera yet! My brother also graduated from college on the same day as my kids, we didn’t get to see that but I am proud of him too! It’s a big deal for such an old man to accomplish so much!!! Congrats to all three of you!

We have been consumed with the aftermath of the tornado that ripped through the heart of Joplin MO last Sunday, the devastation is beyond words and heartbreaking. Charlie has worked everyday since Sunday from sun-up to sun-down most days. There is so much to do and so many people displaced. There are the most amazing stories of Gods protection and stories of horror as well. Very difficult to wrap your head around the effects of destruction like this. There is a lot of work ahead of this community, they are a strong group and they are going to come through strong!

This weekend I have all my kids home but Stephanie, just working in Joplin and tonight relaxing and watching a movie.

We may have our miracle where michael is concerned. Keep praying we still have some big decisions to make. We know God will direct us and give us wisdom to do what is right for Michael.