what is it like to be a mom to a special needs adult? There are things that you expect when you have children, you expect for them to grow up and become independent adults, self sufficient and able to live their own life, one that includes you but doesn’t depend on you. When you have a special needs child they are your responsibility all their life. They don’t grow up and become independent adults. They need you to protect them, feed them, bathe them, house them the same as you did when they were small. Having David is like have a 250 pd 3-6 year old. He is completely dependent on me and his father to meet his needs and protect him from danger. This is not a hardship for us, we love him, he is our son. But what happens when we are gone? Who will take care of him then? Who will love him enough to take care of him when he is at his worst? When he throws a fit that causes damage to the house or the facility where he is staying? Because this happens. This happens way more often then I care for. Not so much damage to my home but damage to others homes that take care of him and also to the center where he goes during the day. This week David has been on a rampage…he has kicked a hole in the wall of the bathroom, tore a door off the hinges of the bathroom, pounded in the doors of the storage shed denting them up pretty bad…this was all done without known provocation. I am sure that there was a trigger it just isn’t evident what it was at this time. Soooo I left work and went to pick him up on Friday early because of the escalation of this behavior. Now at home he has been calm, easy to get along with, with no outbursts of any kind. I am frustrated with what is happening and what is causing him to be so agitated when he is away from his dad and I. I know that he prefers us over anyone else, but I can’t be with him 24/7. I have a full time job and so does his dad. Do I need to quit my job and stay home with him? Would this really be in his best interest? How is he supposed to learn to interact with others if he is always with me? How am I supposed to have any time away from him and being a constant caregiver if I stay home with him. I have 5 normal children and 1 special needs son. All my children are gone now, living their lives, they are all healthy and happy, doing great. David is still home for now. I would love for him to be able to live in an assisted living situation, but if he can’t keep from damaging the property of the day center he is at, what are the chances that he will ever get into an assisted living place? If he is violent and angry who is going to be willing to take him into their facility? His case worker wants him to see a psychiatrist. She thinks that he would get better meds from there than he is on from his neurologist. I just hate to have more dr’s giving him more meds. Some days I just hate to be the mom, some days I want to have only “normal” children. Not all the time mind you, but during these times when he is at his worst I just want to run away. I can’t run away, there isn’t anyone else who loves him like I do, I really want to have him situated in a safe place and happy in a home before I am gone, not that there is any danger of my death that is known at this time, but there have been several deaths of young people that were totally unexpected and I am not guaranteed tomorrow. None of his siblings want the responsibility to care for him. I just have so many things on my mind and my heart is heavy. I really don’t know what to do about David and his behaviors right now or what to do about his future. I do know there is one who loves him more than I do and that is my heavenly Father. I know He will guide my steps in taking care of David, right now I am having a hard time hearing his direction though.