frustration, anger, just plain feeling helpless

I love my job, I love working for a Dr that is good at what he does and cares so much for his patients. I love what I have been learning and how much I have grown in the last 4 years. But I am frustrated beyond words right now with how things are being run in our office. I have expressed my frustration with his wife/office manager before, nothing really new there. But this last couple of weeks have been so bad that I have considered just walking out the door and not turning back. So I am going to vent on here for a bit, if you don’t want to hear it you are more than welcome to stop reading now…you have been fairly warned.

When I send a message that we are in need of office supplies,like high lighters, tape, white out, copy paper…etc why do I have to answer questions like what do we need these things for? Or who is using them and why are we out of these things? Really? This is an office, there are 9 people working in this office and supplies are going to be needed and used! I am so sorry that we go through paper so quickly, but is it really appropriate for you to treat me like I am taking the paper home? Why are high lighters needed and who is using them? Ummmm that would be anyone who is needing to high light things on the paperwork, who is using the tape and what are they using the tape for? I don’t know! I don’t care! They are using the tape for whatever it is that they need tape for! And really why do we need white out? REALLY? Oh I don’t know I guess it is so we can make corrections on stuff without having to print more paperwork!!! All I am asking for are some basic office supplies! They arn’t even terribly expensive! I buy my own paper for my printer at home, I use my own highlighter at home, I buy my own tape for my dispenser at home, and if I need white out at home I buy my own! But at this rate I am going to have to purchase these things for work to? I am not paid enough to supply our office with office supplies! Why is this such a big deal? One of our nurses already buys her own supplies.

Next, I am tired of getting in trouble for the schedule not being right or for there being patients on there with problems the Dr dosn’t want to see them for. He has specific things he wants to see patients for and certain times he wants to see them. But his wife/office manager gets in the schedule and sends me messages to move patients or to put someone in that I know he dosn’t want on his schedule, or she makes appointments that we know nothing about till we get to work and find them on the schedule! The schedule is not easy to maintain, it is like a living breathing child that misbehaves all the time, about the time I think it is in order everything gets thrown up in the air and changed! And guess what? I get blamed for the problem.

Next, who is in charge around there? The Dr? His wife/office manager? Who is really the boss? She comes in only once in awhile (thank God!) but when she does come in she causes so much uhheaval that it takes me days to get past what she has created! The whole atmosphere changes in the office the minute she walks in the door, I swear the tempature even changes! I am very very tired of this, it hasn’t changed in the year and a half that we have been in private practice and I know it isn’t going to change in the future…so what do I do? Just keep doing what I have been doing and stay? Or do I just say goodbye and good luck?

I really, really like my job! I am paid a pittance. Pretty sure I am the lowest paid person in our office. And yet I have an awful lot of responsibilty for everything that happens in this office. All the way down to the fact that Dr didn’t sign off on a pathology report! I just feel defeated and unappreciated, frustated and angry. Today was bad, very bad! I did manage to keep my comments civil, but there were things said and issues addressed. I don’t like confrontation, I don’t like to face issues if they can be resolved without confrontation. But this cannot be resolved without confrontation. I confronted some today,. but there is much more I need to do…if I am going to continue working there. Of course I will keep working there…which makes it even more frustrating. I know I am valuable, yet I am paid as though I am not. And I allow it…

I could go on about things, I have hardly even scratched the surface of what has me on the verge of tears! And for those of you who know me will know that to bring me to a point of tears is saying a lot! I hate to feel helpless and stuck, right now I feel helpless and stuck!

And then there is what is going on with David and his horrific behavior that is weighing heavily on me right now as well. He is fine at home but when he goes to Class he is HORRIBLE! I may have my dilema solved for me at work if I end up having to quit my job so I can stay home with him. Blaaaa Blaaa Blaaaaa!

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8 thoughts on “frustration, anger, just plain feeling helpless

  1. So sorry you are going thru such a difficult time! You are very valuable and some day they will know it but someone else may snatch you up and it will be too late for them! Praying for you!!!

  2. Many of us hardworking caring people have been in the same position. So sorry for such a difficult time you are having. Let’s start with a deep breath, a prayer to turn it over to the Lord and know that he is going to give you the answer you need. Just quiet your spirit and listen. The answer is there. You should go to work, do your job with all your heart and know that you are blessing many. Start looking for something else you might want to do. Maybe youand David could do something together. What about a home business with David? I don’t know just sayin. Many of us get paid peanuts and as long as we let it happen it will. You are worth much more. NO never start buying supplies for your office. They need to run their business in a professional manner and not supplying the tools their employees need is a shame on them. How about taking the meds the dr needs for his patients away so he can not do his job as a professional Dr.? Things can really become bad when you have a family member all up in everyones business especially if they are not putting in their full time as you are. You know the office like the back of your hand and she? When you get home you must pray and make sure that you do not bring the problems with you because those bricks you are carrying get heavy and they do not care. You do not get paid enough to carry the load home with you. We will pray that you will hear His voice and have peace in this matter. Thank you for sharing and believe me we have been there. It hurts especially when you go to work to do the best job you can with a beautiful heart and it seems they do not see it.

    Lovin you,
    Your Sister In Law,
    Kellie Rarick

    • thanks Kellie! I appreciate all you have said here and you are right I cannot bring those bricks home! I will think about what you suggested and I know God will lead me in the direction I need to go. Love you, and I’m so glad you are my sister in law!

      • Praying my sweet wonderful friend. So sorry for your trouble. You don’t deserve any of this. Love you.

      • Thanks Carol! I am so happy that Amy and Justin are back home! I know you must be very relieved to have them safely back home and within reach again. Love you!

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