How quickly the day flew by! We had a wonderful Christmas eve service at 11pm that took us into Christmas day, hugged the necks of many loved ones and celebrated the birth of our Savior together. Christmas day we slept in, we had our gift exchange which was sweet as usual, for the most part, we do have the emotionally impaired boys still! Our dinner was very good and filling and yummy. The day was amazing clear up to the point of finding out my daughter was leaving early to spend the rest of the day with her boyfriends family. I don’t have a problem with them spending time with his family, quite the contrary, but my issue was this, I was supposed to get all if Christmas. Thanksgiving was cut short because she had to leave to go to his house, he didn’t even come here he stayed with his family for all of thanksgiving. She told me that I would have her for all of Christmas but I had her for less than a full day. As you can tell I’m not handling it very well. I hate it that I am less important, that I will most likely always be “giving up” my time. I can usually bounce back if given enough time to process things, but I got no time to process so it made it nearly impossible for me to enjoy the rest if the evening with those who were staying. We still had our annual ginger bread house competition, something Stephanie had specifically said she wanted to do but left before we had it. I wonder does she feel the loss like I do? Does she miss us at all? Will I ever have my daughter back? Or have I lost her to another family? My heart aches and there seems to be no end to it, even in my sleep I am aware of the terrible loss. She no longer serves the Lord and now she is no longer available to us for more than a few short hours. I am working through it and I will move beyond this hurt. Just needed to get it off my chest, like writing about it will really remove the heaviness that is always there, hovering, waiting to overcome me. By Gods grace His Spirit is always there keeping me, comforting and encouraging. Sorry for the downer this post is, maybe the next one will be more uplifting!