I have the decorations put away for the most part and the house put back together, how quickly this week is going, how quickly this year has gone! I went to the dentist yesterday, had to have a tooth filled…again, same tooth I had filled before but it had started to decay under the filling. Hopefully I won’t have to have a root canal. It is still bothering me today, but not any worse than before. I don’t know if I should get the antibiotics and start on the pain meds or just wait it out. I thought it was going to be better, but I am going to have to take some ibuprophen here soon.
Kevin and April are back from her families place in Montana, they had a great time. I hopefully will get to see them on Jan 2, it will be great to see them again.
I got a call today asking me to talk with a mom of a special needs son who is getting bigger, stronger, and more difficult to deal with. I remember how I wanted to have someone to talk with that had navigated that path before me and there just wasn’t anyone. I have the opportunity to be there for someone else now. I am praying about what the Lord would have me say to her, how to be an encouragement to her. Her son has autism, that is different than David, but the special needs are still there and the frustrations are definately the same. The frustrations are so vast and are so much more than just dealing with the child but also the people that are in your life, trying to help them understand how to deal with your child, how to work through when your child misbehaves and causes problems in relationships, all of the pit falls that are out there and all the people who think they know what to do, but have no clue what it is like to live with a special needs child day in day out. I have to say that there are some people who are not good with a special needs person. We have to be so careful who is given charge of our kids. Some people have good intentions but are just not capable of really dealing with the issues that arise from taking care of these kids. I know David mirrors his enviroment, if it is stressful he is going to be more difficult and destructive to himself and property. I have done everything in my power to keep him calm, medication and keeping my home as peaceful as is in my power to do so. I also encourage those who take care of him to make use of DMG and to try to keep the enviroment calm. Michelle takes care of David in the afternoon and is doing a GREAT job with him, I know she has frustrations with him, but I do appreciate how she talks to me and lets me know if he is misbehaving. I do what I can to help with that, but the whole communication thing is huge, if I don’t know there is a problem I can’t do anything to help with it. I have really struggled with finding out that my son was so horrible on facebook rather then from the people whose home he was being destructive in. If you are a caregiver for a special needs person, please be honest with the family, communication is key to making things work.
Well I have gone on and on here havent I? I really have things I need to be getting done so I am going to get off of here and get to work.
How quickly the day flew by! We had a wonderful Christmas eve service at 11pm that took us into Christmas day, hugged the necks of many loved ones and celebrated the birth of our Savior together. Christmas day we slept in, we had our gift exchange which was sweet as usual, for the most part, we do have the emotionally impaired boys still! Our dinner was very good and filling and yummy. The day was amazing clear up to the point of finding out my daughter was leaving early to spend the rest of the day with her boyfriends family. I don’t have a problem with them spending time with his family, quite the contrary, but my issue was this, I was supposed to get all if Christmas. Thanksgiving was cut short because she had to leave to go to his house, he didn’t even come here he stayed with his family for all of thanksgiving. She told me that I would have her for all of Christmas but I had her for less than a full day. As you can tell I’m not handling it very well. I hate it that I am less important, that I will most likely always be “giving up” my time. I can usually bounce back if given enough time to process things, but I got no time to process so it made it nearly impossible for me to enjoy the rest if the evening with those who were staying. We still had our annual ginger bread house competition, something Stephanie had specifically said she wanted to do but left before we had it. I wonder does she feel the loss like I do? Does she miss us at all? Will I ever have my daughter back? Or have I lost her to another family? My heart aches and there seems to be no end to it, even in my sleep I am aware of the terrible loss. She no longer serves the Lord and now she is no longer available to us for more than a few short hours. I am working through it and I will move beyond this hurt. Just needed to get it off my chest, like writing about it will really remove the heaviness that is always there, hovering, waiting to overcome me. By Gods grace His Spirit is always there keeping me, comforting and encouraging. Sorry for the downer this post is, maybe the next one will be more uplifting!
the presents are bought, the groceries are bought, the house is…well presentable, good thing its just family! lol! I am looking forward to spending time with my kids and folks this weekend, just some down time, playing games, eating, laughing, watching movies whatever we feel like doing! It will be fun! I am off work for a week now, that is fun! I am looking forward to getting some things done next week. Kelly and Holly are going to Omaha NB for a Faithwalkers conference. That will be really good for them, relationship building time! So for now I am going to go get supper started Have a Merry Christmas to all 3 of my readers! I will post pics for you later on!
a mom to a special needs son. You know I do everything for him, I bathe him, dress him, feed him, tuck him in bed, clean his room, wipe his butt…and on and on it goes. This guy absolutely loves his momma, and his momma absolutely loves him! But, lets face it, most moms are done with this extent of care after a few years, but I have had David for 26 years now. Yesterday he and I had a confrontation, he wouldn’t put his socks on, he wanted me to put his socks on for him! I refused to put his socks on and was pretty upset with him for throwing the fit he did! Then I feel bad because I got so mad at him. I stay even keeled with him most the time, but there are times that I just don’t handle things very well and yesterday was one of those days. David really hates it when I am upset with him, but not enough to do what I say when he dosn’t want to do whatever it is I told him to do.
And then there is the joy of being the mom of a teenage daughter! I can do nothing right and nothing is ever enough. I went to pick her up from school today and she was annoyed with me because I didn’t drop what I was doing immediately when she called and go get her. No, I took the time to finish typing a sentence, put my sons coat on him and get out the door, but hey I should have just walked out the door without taking care of anything, because the princess called! Boy, I guess I am rather fed up with some of the people living in my house right now!
And then there is my daughters boyfriend who said he would come with her to Thanksgiving, and then backed out at the last minute! Sooooo because of that I only got to have her for a couple of hours on Thanksgiving day instead of the whole day because she went to his families for the remainder of their Thanksgiving break. They are supposed to be here for Christmas, but when I spoke with her today she said that now he is talking about Christmas time with his family. She was wanting to know our plans so they could plan when they would be with us and when they will be with his family. I don’t know what to think, as his family was supposed to be going to Texas for Christmas but now those plans have apparently changed. I think that I need to start resigning myself to only getting my daughter for a few hours on Christmas too. I don’t want to alienate this young man who may become my son-in-law, but don’t you think he possibly should make some effort to be on my good side as well…tired of doing all the giving and him all the taking. He has lost a lot of the ground that he had won with me, I don’t trust him to do what he says he will do, and I am not so sure that he is going to be a good husband for my daughter. Being a man of your word and doing what you say you will do even when it is inconvenient or undesirable shows character, but the oposite shows you to be selfish and untrustworthy. I know a lot of women who are married to men of this caliber. They are very unhappy in their marriages. I truly hate to see my daughter walk into that life, but it is her life. I will be here for her no matter what happens. And there is the off chance that I am totally reading this young man all wrong…if that is the case I will be very grateful!
We all want the best for our children and it is so hard when we see them making choices that will come back to torment them in later years.