I checked out my blog stats just now and to my surprise there were 36 of you on my blog yesterday and only 2 of you commented. Now come on you guys how am I supposed to know what you have to say if you won’t say it? There is that little “comments” button. Click it and then leave me feedback, I’m tired of talking to myself all the time! Ok I am done! Let me know you were here, I don’t bite…hard 🙂
I have lost 9.6 lbs so far on this round of hcg, I am one week in. Today has been hard where the cravings are concerned. You know sometimes chocolate just screams your name and it takes all your willpower to ignore it! So far so good…I have 2 wks to go on the vlcd (very low calorie diet) and then I can eat more. Still have to stay away from carbs and sugars though, so the chocolate is still OUT! Yikes! My family dosn’t help, they still eat whatever they want and have no problem eating in front of me. This is showing me how determined I am that is for sure. It is always a battle in the mind more than the body. I think that some hot tea by the fire should take care of the cravings, at least that is what I tell myself. 30#’s to go, I can do this, I will do this!
David is doing much better this week. He seems much more peaceful. Should have followed the check in my spirit months ago.
Kelly is going to a teen girl retreat this weekend. She is taking a friend (Cabrina) along. I think this is going to be a great weekend for them. “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Armour” is going to be introduced to the girls this weekend. It is an intense descipleship program designed for teen girls. Kelly has been interested in it since she first heard me talking about it a couple of months ago. This is going to be a great oportunity for her to connect with girls her age that are passionate for Jesus. Both Kelly and Cabrina are seeking a closer relationship with Jesus and are willing to pay the price to get it. Very blessed to watch them grow and develop in this relationship with God Almighty. Exciting things are to come this weekend. I will be visiting with my mom for the weekend and that too is exciting for me. I love to spend time with her and this will be twice in a months time! woo hoo!
Michael finished three classes in the time frame he had for one class! Very proud of him, he is working so hard to graduate this year and it is looking like he is going to be able to do it. He is my miracle young man and what a blessing he is to me. I would have had a very hard time wrapping my head around the possiblity that he would be where he is now 1 year ago, but God is so faithful and he hears the cry of a mothers heart. We still have a rough road ahead of us, things are still not all resolved surrounding the choices he made and the consequences of those choices, but God will continue to be faithful to him and us, and we can walk through anything with the Lord by our side leading, comforting, giving wisdom, discernment, encouragement and provision!
All these bring challenges that the average person does not understand. They can be very demanding, needy, and even destructive. David is all of these things from time to time, but not all the time. He has people that he likes and those he does not like. He has his bad days and he has his good days. I never know from day to day what kind of day he is going to have. It can be very difficult finding caregivers for a special needs person, no matter their age. but especially as an adult. Your average person is reluctant to help out. I have been blessed with a couple of people who have been very good with him, or at least I think they are. The thing is that if David is a problem for those who are caring for him and they don’t tell me about it I cannot do anything about it. I may not be able to fix it even if I know, but please if you are the caregiver of a special needs person and you find yourself or family members getting angry with them because of their behaviour let someone know that there is a problem. How are we, the parents or guardians, supposed to correct a problem if we don’t know there is one? If you are reading this and you are one of David’s caregivers please let me know if he is being a problem I can not help if I do not know. I would rather find him another caregiver than have you or family members mad at him, resenting his presence in your home. Living with a special needs adult, or being the caregiver for one is very challenging. There are days that you just want/need a break. The fits of rage (these are not as bad now that he is medicated) the broken things in the house, the dents in my car because it was locked when he wanted to get in it. The refusal to obey me at times and the challenging of my authority these are all part of an average week with David. He is an absolute delight most of the time, but when things are stressfull he reacts to it. When he has broken things, most of the time, it was provoked by something or someone. Not to say that it was provoked on purpose or even knowingly. It is true that God gives these precious souls to us in trust. It isnt easy to care for them and it certainly isn’t a fun job, but it can be very rewarding and there will be a special blessing for those who treated them right. If you are a parent, grandparent or caregiver to one of these gifts from above, treat them right, love them, and get help when you need a break, there is nothing wrong with getting help.
Just a shout out to my friend Ashley who has a special needs little girl, I know how hard it is sweetie and I am lifting you up in prayer, stay close to the Lord and He will bring you and your family through!
Okay I’m done for now….TTYL
We are studying from Mark Batterson’s book “Wild Goose Chase” on Wednesday nights. Last night was our first night and there were some very challenging questions to be answered. Have we placed God in a box? Are we expecting Him to follow us instead of us following Him? Are we willing to take a risk and experience God on His terms? I was challenged to take a close look at my own relationship with God and where I am. I find that I don’t like what I see. I have become very comfortable in my lifestyle, go to church, go to work, to home…impact very few people for God, take no chances, stay under the radar. BORING! Is this really what the church has been reduced to? Are we as a church so domesticated that we can not be used by God in the wild world that so desperately needs him? Are we so domesticated that if we were to step into the wild we would be eaten alive? I think that I am there, I don’t want to be in this place though. I want to be in the center of God’s will, reaching a lost and dying world for Him. This study is going to be a good one. I don’t want to waste time anymore. I have watched myself and others allow bitterness to destroy them, but the greatest thing is that God forgives and restores us to right relationship with him and others.
I think I could get used to the empty nest thing! Of course I still have David here…but all the other kids are gone for the weekend. Michael and Kelly have gone on a trip to KC for a music field trip. They are going to the theatre to see Shrek on stage. They always really hava a good time on these trips. they have to be dressed up to eat at a nice restaurant. I will post of pic of them in their duds if they take a picture for me.
We went to Springfield to get my hcg this morning. Had breakfast at IHop with Kevin and his roommate, Michael, kinda weird that his roommates name is Michael! Kevin didn’t have much time to spend with us so we didn’t hang around for long. We did buy him a beard trimmer though! He needed that, kinda scruffy looking!
Holly will be home next weekend to clean Dorothy’s house so Eulie can move in at the end of the month. I am looking forward to seeing her again. Stephanie is doing great at school right now. She seems to be quite content with her life as it is. Things will be changing drastically for her after this semester. She graduates in May. We are very proud of her and all she has accomplished. I know that the promises of God are true and that He is faithful and will take care of her, every step of the way. Even if she thinks she dosn’t need or want His help.
Scott is home! He made it home safely. Haven’t gotten to talk with him yet so I don’t know what all went on in Haiti, but I will get to talk with him soon I hope!
Kelly is going to the Girls Retreat at the end of the month, they are going to be introducing a new descipleship program for the girls that are serious about going deeper with God. It is called The Sisterhood of the Traveling Armour, Kelly is pretty pumped about this. Possibly she will have some of her friends from church go with her. My plan is to spend the time with my mom in Witchita while Kelly is at the camp ground. Michael and Kelly are also going to PK retreat in March. They are pretty excited about that too. Michael has to keep his grades up and all assignments have to be turned in before he can go, but that is good that gives him incentive to keep on task with his school work.
went to a purse party last night and laughed till tears rolled and my head hurt! It felt good to laugh and laugh! It is true that laughter is very good medicine! I got the Leah shell for my purse this time. It is really pretty and has a little bit of different design. Fun times and definately glad that I went . I now have 6 shells with this purchase and I also got a closet organizer and some more handles. My handles are getting frayed. these purses are pretty cool. Check them out if you havent yet. Well I guess I will get off of here for now. TTYL!
It is snowing and cold out! We are sitting by the fire in the house enjoying the quiet! I am going to read after I put David to bed, he is begging me to let him go to sleep. It is only 8pm! I don’t know what the day will bring tomorrow. If the roads are bad I will be staying home with David, not going to work sounds really really good! Not that work has been bad! I enjoy my job, but I do like the idea of sleeping in on a cold wintery morning!
I am wondering how my friend is doing,she went into labor a month early and I haven’t heard yet if they stopped labor or if she had the baby…really praying that all is well with her and this precious life.
I think that I am going to put this to bed for now and read my book that I have on my bookclub page. This is a very good book! Never read any books by this author before but she is quite good. Check it out.
And welcome Amy to my Blog! Glad you could join me and the other three faithful ones!
Good week this week, no problems, at least none I know of! My brother headed off to Haiti on a missions trip this week. I am more than just a little uncomfortable with that. Praying for his safety and that of the team he is with.
Been kinda of sick this week, ok, more than kinda! But I am feeling better now than I have in days! Watching “The Wedding Planner” and just relaxing at home. We have been so busy, going, going, going it is nice just to relax at home for a change.
Our neighbor is going to be moving into Charlie’s mom’s house at the end of the month. He sold his house and needs a place to stay until his new house is built. Dorothy’s house is just sitting empty right now so it will be good to have someone living there. We plan to sell it soon but there is some work that we need to get done on it first. Glad that we are able to help out our neighbor and he will be helping us out as well.
Well I really don’t have much else to say, guess I will just sign off of here for now. I may come back in a day or two with something more interesting…I wouldnt hold my breath though! When you think of my brother, Scott, please pray for him and the safety of all that went on this missions trip! Thanks!! TTYL
He completed his second English class today, three weeks ahead of schedule! Wow, Michael that is fantastic!! He has had to work so hard to get caught up and make up for all the time that he wasted messing around. He has applied himself and is making huge strides he is right on track to graduate with his class in the spring! The Lord has done so much to bring Michael back from the danger zone he was dancing around in for so long. We are so thankful for the faithfulness of the Lord and for the answer to prayer. We still have a rough road ahead of us as we navigate the legal system that Michael landed us in with his poor choices last year. But God takes what the enemy plans for our destruction and turns it to bring Him glory, and makes the consequences stepping stones for getting to where God wants us to be. Nothing the enemy has planned or accomplished is to big for God, NOTHING! Bravo Michael, BRAVO! Keep up the good work as you work hand in hand with our Heavenly Father to stop the plans of the enemy for your life!
It has been an eventful year for us, not always good eventful either! But God has been faithful, especially in the hard times. I have lost my son, Michael, and had him returned to us in less than six months! Now if that is not faithfulness what is? Kevin started college this last fall at CBC and is doing great, very happy with where he is right now. It is wonderful to see the spiritual growth in his life as he seeks to serve the Lord with all his heart. Holly is still in KC, going to dance school and working for Maid Pro. She loves her new church and is enjoying her life there right now. Kelly is caught up in honor guard at school and really enjoying it. She is still working with her horse and has aquired yet another one to take care of! She does love those animals. David is still going to CLASS LTD everyday, he has Robbie in the morning and Jim in the afternoon to keep him out of trouble. they are a blessing to David and to me. Stephanie is in her last year of school at K-State. She will graduate in May with her masters in Architecture, very proud of her accomplishments.
We did finally get to have Corbin in our home for a little while. He is Stephanies boyfriend of 2.5 years now. This is the first time to have him in our home. We enjoyed getting to spend time with him, he is a vey nice and respectful young man.
There are many things I regret about this last year and there are many things that I am proud of! I had a very rough beginning of the year with an office coordinator that HATED me. Still not real sure why she was so threatened by me but she was. She was fired early in the year! Wonderful day for me, not so much for her. All of the women who were on board with her are now gone from the office, whole new staff, that has been nice. The Dr I work for is planning to go independant in a couple of months, it is my plan to go with him, I really hope this is the right decision…hard to know in these uncertain times what is the wise thing to do. I really like my new OC and she is not going with us. I will miss her, a lot! She has been fantastic to work with and has taught me so much. I hate to lose her, but even if I stayed I wouldn’t get to stay with her.
reconnected with many old friends this last year, friends that I thought I would never get to have back for one reason or another, the circumstances have been very sad though I praying for reconciliation in relationships that have been damaged. The neat thing about God is that He specializes in the damaged relationships and can make them good as new in His time.
I got to spend New Years with my mom and dad this year and that has been a blessing, We came to Wichita on Thursday and have stayed until Sunday. Just spending time, not really doing anything, other than going to see TRON at the IMAX on Friday night. That was pretty cool. Never felt like I was in a video game before!
Over all this has been a year of many different emotions, hurt and exhileration, frustration and peace all rolled up together. 2011 will hopefully have less of the pain and frustration, and more of the peace of God in every area. We all have gone through very hard times at one point or another, and we will all go through them again. There were times that I wallowed in self pity and I have to say that self pity only makes the situation worse, it dosen’t help in anyway. Self pity I have found divides me from my friends, my family and everyone who would help, because I am so absorbed in my poor pitiful self that I can not recieve help from those who would like to help. I talk from my own experience as I have been in this situation personally this year. If you are wallowing in self pity at this time in your life please hear my heart here. Let go of the pity and look to the Lord for your answers, be willing to ackwoledge your own fault in the place you are in and be willing to make the changes that you have the power to change. We are only responsible for our own actions and our own attitudes. Those of others are not for us to change. But the thing that happened with me, is that when I finally let go of my own hurt and self pity I changed my behavior and the behavior of others changed towards me. The problem that had me so down and pitiful took care of itself. Will this work everytime? No probably not, but I do know that the Lord gives peace and direction, no matter what is happening and that self pity only brings destruction to the person having the party and the people that surround them. Just a little lesson I learned this year…again.
I pray that all 3 of you have a wonderful New Year and I pray that you are blessed in everything that you set your hand to!