You know how it is when you feel like nothing you do is right? Everything that goes wrong is blamed on you? There isn’t anywhere to hide and no safe place? Well it wasn’t quite as bad as that, but it came close. I think I was blamed for just about everything today! I didn’t even have a chance to defend myself and then when I did what I was asked to do “so that the problem would go away” it made things much worse. I am the only one up front who knows what is going on. I am the only one who knows how the schedule is supposed to be, how the Drs have told us they want things done up front, yet I am the one with the least amount of say. I feel totally out of control and completely undermined most of the time. All this and I still really enjoy the job I have, but right now I really don’t want to be there. My character is being shaped through this but all I want to say is awwww shut up! I think the office manager realized she pushed me to far today. She did apologize, so that is good. Very few people have been able to get to me enough that they made me cry. She made me cry today, out of sheer frustration of not being able to do everything and make everyone happy, for taking the blame for things that were out of my control and not done by me. It is one thing to take the blame for things that you have actually messed up on but when it is things that you didn’t do or have anything to do with well that is a different story altogether. I know the tension level is high for everyone and will be until we get adequately staffed, but today was definately a breaking point for me. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, or at least I will be able to handle it better.