Charlie went to pick Michael up this morning and bring him home to stay. He is soooo excited and we are excited too, and nervous, but that is in the Lords hands. So many changes in the last 16 months in him and in us. Now we walk out what we have learned and do our best with the Lords help not to fall into the same patterns as before! All these years of parenting and I feel like I know less now than ever.
Work stinks right now, but that will change. Actually I still really enjoy the work it is the constant blaming and snide remarks that get to me. I spent so many years teaching my children that blaming others for things gets you no where and that we need to gather all the facts before we start shooting our mouth off and yet I work with adults who don’t get this very elementary concept. I have even told them at work that the stress level of being home all day with 6 kids was a picnic compared to the crap that flys in that office on some days! Said with a smile, of course, but meant every word of it! These people are worse than kids on way to many occasions! I am there for a reason and I will stay and be who I am supposed to be in that office, but today I would have been willing to quit if I didn’t need the job!
Are we as christians portraying a true example of Jesus to those we are trying to reach? Or do we constantly “watch dog” everything and miss the relationship building that opens the door for us to speak into peoples lives? We miss the fact that without relationship we don’t have a basis to correct behaviors in others. Now can we witness without a “relationship”? Yes I believe we can. I am not talking about witnessing. I am talking about descipleship. We all have people in our lives that we desciple, or at least we should. And these people change according to where we are in life. I have had many in my life that I have had the privilage to correct, and turn from a destructive way of thinking. I have also been in the position of the one being corrected. What makes the difference in whether that correction is heeded or rejected? It boils down to relationship and trust. If I trust you and have a good relationship with you I am going to be more willing to allow you to speak correction, even though it may hurt, into my life. Sometimes we want everything to be black and white, but things are rarely that simple. Are you guilty of missing the relationship and just going straight to the correction? Who in your life are you praying for and frustrated with? Are you building relationship or tearing it down with your words and actions? Every area of our church life, family life, work life is affected here. Be careful not to allow the enemy to use your words and actions to drive those you love and care about into the enemies hands…
We finally have word from Shawn that Michael is going to get to graduate this Saturday! He is going to be so excited, as are we! There is a catch though, he dosn’t get to actually leave until the end of the month. They only have graduation once a year and he would have to wait a whole year to walk for graduation if he dosn’t get to walk this weekend, but he isn’t officially done until the end of the month. So we take what we can get and thank God for all that he has done in this young mans life. We are still a little nervous about having him home for good, we walked some very rough roads before he was sent into the TC program. He is not the same young man that he was before and so we look forward with caution and hope to his homecoming! Thank you to all who prayed with us and all who helped us out financially through a very expensvie event in our life!
You know how it is when you feel like nothing you do is right? Everything that goes wrong is blamed on you? There isn’t anywhere to hide and no safe place? Well it wasn’t quite as bad as that, but it came close. I think I was blamed for just about everything today! I didn’t even have a chance to defend myself and then when I did what I was asked to do “so that the problem would go away” it made things much worse. I am the only one up front who knows what is going on. I am the only one who knows how the schedule is supposed to be, how the Drs have told us they want things done up front, yet I am the one with the least amount of say. I feel totally out of control and completely undermined most of the time. All this and I still really enjoy the job I have, but right now I really don’t want to be there. My character is being shaped through this but all I want to say is awwww shut up! I think the office manager realized she pushed me to far today. She did apologize, so that is good. Very few people have been able to get to me enough that they made me cry. She made me cry today, out of sheer frustration of not being able to do everything and make everyone happy, for taking the blame for things that were out of my control and not done by me. It is one thing to take the blame for things that you have actually messed up on but when it is things that you didn’t do or have anything to do with well that is a different story altogether. I know the tension level is high for everyone and will be until we get adequately staffed, but today was definately a breaking point for me. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, or at least I will be able to handle it better.
We had a great time in St. Louis with everyone! The time spent with family is not common anymore with everyone scattered here and there! We went to six flags on a day that was hotter than H E double hockey sticks! It was miserable after lunch for me. They closed huricane harbor right after we got there! We didn’t even get to get in the water! I don’t know what the problem was though. I ended up going and sitting in the shade for a couple hours while the rest of the family went on more rides. Holly stayed with me though, she was tired as well. I hate being sick and feeling like I am going to heave and there isn’t any way to get out of the heat! However this only lasted for a couple of hours and then the the sun started going down and it began to cool to a more comfortable 90!!! Everyone had a really good time together and it was worth even the nausea!
We also attempted to go to the Arch on Friday but we didn’t get there in time and if we went up in the Arch we would have been really late getting to Uncle Darold and Aunt Shirley’s house. We decided just to look around the museum and then go ahead and leave for the house. Maybe next trip we can go up in the Arch.
We also stayed and went to church with them on Sunday. They go to a Christian church there in St. Louis. We really enjoyed the service. The Worship was VERY good and the teaching was relevant to our lives now. They have a very good church with sound teaching. We knew that though by their fruit! All in all the weekend was wonderful.