So did you have a wonderful Christmas?

Christmas for me was a very difficult day. I thought that I would do better than I did without Michael there. Michael called first thing in the morning and I had a rough day from that point on. Even though I know it was best and right for us not to go to MNTC to see him it just really got to me that he was without family on Christmas. He was fine they were taking care of the boys who were still there, they had things planmaxine27ned for their day but I just had a hard time with one of MY children having to be away from us on Christmas, not because they are married and with their in-laws but because they made a very poor choice and lost a pass.  I am glad that Christmas day is over, and now we can move on past the fact that he wasn’t here. I think everyone had a good day, accept they were all tiptoeing around me….2008 is almost over and I can say truthfully that I am more than ready for it to pass on into history! 2009 is fresh and new and I pray that it will be a better, less painful year for our family. All this flipping pain and emotional crap is really getting to me! I don’t like to cry, been doing far to much of that, don’t like to hurt, be discouraged, be let down, be scared, etc… and quite frankly there has been an awful lot of that this year! I know that there have been good things happen this year, I just am having a hard time remembering what they are. Lets see Holly graduated from High School, We had a fantastic Christmas program at the church (Charlie has a nack for bringing out the best in people if they will let him),  we got to see Michael on several occasions, we got Dollie Mae (she is such a sweetie, thank you Katie for giving her to me!), Charlie and I are closer than we have ever been [hard times will bring you closer or tear you apart] I am grateful that we are closer and not broken apart by this year.  We still have our family in tact, and we are all together this week, excluding Michael.  There truly is much to be thankful for and I am thankful. Interesting how you can be thankful in the midst of pain and loss. God is good, and He has taken care of us through out all that we have walked through this year. If you are wondering what all I am talking about it is all documented on previous posts.

so now that you know all that I will go for now we have plans to get out of the house today and go out shopping and the YMCA is on the agenda at some point. The kids are excited that we are having pizza for supper!

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