If my child chooses to walk in sin is it my fault?

Well what to say? I was listening to Focus on the Family this morning and it just didn’t sit well with me. That is not the norm, I am usually in complete agreement with what is said on there. I have the highest respect for James Dobson and the people that he interviews. This morning however, I cannot accept what I “heard” which very well could have been different than what was actually said! Kids are walking away from the faith of their childhood after highschool at the rate of 90%. Okay, the next thing that was said was that it is the parents fault for not teaching them. Okay, that very well may be true in a large number of the cases, but it is not the case in all of them. It was stated that the church and the parents do not believe that the parents are capable of teaching their kids about scripture. Okay that may be true, but not in all cases. I absolutely agree that it is the parents job to train their children in the ways of God, not the churches job. The church should suppliment, reinforce what is being taught at home. I absolutely agree with that. But where I differ here is that if you do all the right things your kids won’t stray. They have a free will and they can choose to align themselves with God or with the world. If I have done all I can, I have lived the life in front of them, I have taught them what God’s word says, I have been real with them and apologized when I have handled things badly, etc….that is not a guarantee that they will not stray. I have not been a perfect mother by any stretch of the imagination, there are so many things I would do differently, but I did teach my children, I trained them in the ways of God to the best of my understanding and ability at the time. Yet I have one who is not attending church or even trying to develop relationships that will help her in her christian walk. I have another who is right now at MNTC because of poor choices that he was making. That is 2 of my 6 that if I take what was said in the broadcast this morning, are/were not walking with God and it is my fault because I didn’t train them right. What about the other 4 who are serving God and doing things right? How do I reconcile that? I know that I am probably blowing this way out of proportion, but if you have ever had a child choose to follow the world then you know the heartache that comes with that and how much we blame ourselves because we feel that we did something wrong. Then to have that reinforced through this particular broadcast that was by people who had young children still and had not walked this path yet…well it makes for a hard day.

*Please understand that I will still be listening to Focus on the Family, they have very good things to say and most of the time they are very encouraging to me. This was the first time I have felt this way about one their broadcasts and I have been listening to them for years.

**And for the record I do believe the promise of Gods word! My children have been trained in the ways of the Lord and I will see them (they are already making strides) come back into right relationship with God.


8 thoughts on “If my child chooses to walk in sin is it my fault?

  1. I was listening to a teaching the other day that related to this and I think it will apply. The teaching was on Proverbs, and it said this. Proverbs are meant to be principles, not promises. One of those principles is train up a child in the way he or she should go, and they will return to it when they are old. The point this teacher made was the point you made in your blog. Grown children have a free will. I have to be honest, after hearing that that proverb was a promise all my life, I’m still mulling this principle thing over, but it’s making sense. Here is another principle that I like, the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. I put this in because I to was wondering from the way of God, but I know that my mother prayed for me, I heard her. Your children may have a free will, but you have a privilage of praying for them and knowing God is able. Love you sis.

  2. Thanks Scott, you know your mother still prays for you! and for me! I am passing that wonderful heritage on to my children as well.

  3. The Focus on the Family program this morning address these issues that I brought up in my post. Not because of my post or anything! They dealt with the fact that our children make their own choices and sometimes no matter what you have done they are going to do their own thing. They reinforced that they were trying to teach and train parents to take responsibility for their childrens spiritual training and not rely on the church to do this for them. I agree with that, and now that they have stated that even if you do everything “right” your children still may choose to walk in the ways of the world, and that is not the parents fault but the childs choice I feel better. I do agree with my brother though that the effectual fervant prayer of a righteous man/woman availeth MUCH! Our children may make poor choices but they are not beyond the reach of our forgiving God who will take them back as soon as they turn to Him. We must keep them covered in prayer daily, the enemy of their soul wants to destroy them!

  4. hey sassy! I wanted to let you know that the scripture is right (Pro. 22:6 NLT) Train your children to walk the right path and when they are older they will remain on it. My mom tought me the best she could; she did the best she knew how according to the word and she did a pretty good job, but that doesn’t mean that i didn’t make my bad decisions and go down the wrong path, and my mother remained consistant in praying for me and allowed me to make my decisions freely but she was right there trying to help guide me all the way. I truly believe that she placed the seed, she watered it, and she took care of it as long as she could. It was hard for me to make the right decisions when she was gone because my decisions were made without that influence. I went crazy, but God sent someone to help bring me back under his covering. It wasn’t just my mom, she did what she was supposed to do as long as she could, then God sent PT to help carry on. We all know the job is not over. The point is that you do the best you can you make mistakes and you move on and allow God to the rest. By the way you are one outstanding woman of God, so get out of the gutter and tell satan to leave you alone. I SUPPER DUPPER LOVE YOU!

    and thanks for the words of encouragement. I am sure I will get out of this pit soon! But I just got done furnishing it and painting the walls…I am just kidding for all you out there that don’t know me!

  6. I tend to agree with you .
    It’s the child’s choice to sin or to obey.
    All we can do is pray and lead them and teach them, and discipline.

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